Not knowing where I was going to be next.

Torn between love and hate at this masterful game we play.

The darkness covers my heart on display.

I’m losing my mind trying to stay awake.

My feet are trapped in the bondage of emotional display.

This roller coaster ride going on and on.

I’m in this tunnel of darkness with no love guru guide.

I feel my mind getting higher and high.

I just didn’t know how high I can fly.

I’m crushing and burning at the thought of  our love.

I gave myself permission to feel.

I’m a junky for your love.

It’s all about the thrill.

You talk a good talk and you walk a good walk.

I gave myself permission to feel.

So I decide to walk through your mind fuck field.

But I’m finding out ain’t such a thrill.

I gave myself permission to feel.

I saw my heart mangled with those baby blues.

Learning all I could learn about the soul that flies.

The words you spoke had my heart beating fast/ tossing and turning as if I was smoking hash.

I couldn’t think or utter a word / time just stood still and I could hear the hymning birds.

Vanilla and Chocolate swirls go around and around/ I felt like my feet was floating off the ground.

I wanted to get lost in your smell and trapped in your brain/ I felt like my heart was on this super fast train.

You put a spell on me and for a moment my heart was free.

I saw you and you saw me/ vanilla and chocolate swirls go around and around.

I got lost in the madness of my head.

I created drama when there was no drama.

My heart has broken into a thousand pieces in just one moment.  I’ve lost the solid ground  that was beneath my feet / To share what was in my heart.  I spoke to soon.  Cut my tongue from  my heart/ Toss my heart to the wolves to feast on/ For I spoke to soon.

Why  most I dance on my grave/ in my weak hours of loneliness please forgive me god for I have sinned.

I’ve shared my love in my heart and my heart has betrayed.

Beat this beast from my chest for I’ve shared what’s true in my heart/ It was those eyes that casted a spell on my soul/ Those baby blues eyes and that wicked smile /that caused me share my heart.

I wish I could undo this night and take back those words.

Now I know my heart is alive for one brief moment I got to fly high.

Those baby blues eyes made me feel alive.

I wanted to dance in those eyes and  and embrace that wicked smile.

they had the body of a greek god and spoke the words of a great teacher.

Forgive me father for I have sinned/ I shared my heart without taken them in.

Why was my heart playing tricks on me.

Death would be the answer to my life/ the rivers have blacken by my soul.

God has decide to leave all my hopes and dreams hanging at the door side.

Life means nothing right now. When it rains it pours/I suck at everything I touch.

I wanted it so bad but life has rejected my ideas.

Death would be the answer to my life/the rivers have blacken by my soul.

God once again has rejected my final dance number.

Cut my heart out of my chest and feed it to the dead worms before his feet.

Life has no meaning to me/i’ve been beaten  down by dreams and hopes.

God has once again rejected my final dance number.

you all are invited to my funeral tell your friends / all my enemies so everyone can feast on my sun-dried bones.

God has once again rejected my final dance number.

Yesterday I was in love/ today I mourn my own death.

The wind has changed/God has once again rejected my final dance number.

Buddha I prayed to you and God and you said nothing.

My life has no meaning and death once again has come a crawling.

Feed me her breast milk so that I’ll taste the disappointment of God’s words.

running after my own feet/your smile does me good.

I see you and I jump for the heavens/I listen to your voice /my spirit calms down.

Your smile does me good/those blues leave me speechless.

you are so smart and wise for your youth/I can’t catch my heart beat fast enough.

Your smile does me good/those blues leave me speechless.

I see God in your eyes/your soul in the palm of his hand.

The seas departed /that smile made it’s way into my heart.

Your smile does me good/those blues leave me speechless.

Stop! Holding to what’s in your head/ Live in this moment/ this now.

I’m trying to be a better man but I keep getting in my on way.

STOP! STOP! STOP! listening to what you think people are saying and just move on.

Stop trying to live in some else skin, stop looking for hope when hope is change her name.

Stop letting people tell you , you aren’t worth your weight and gold.

Stop! Stop! STOP! STOP!

this dirty secret i keep it right under my tore worn torso

screaming for god to hear my cries which falls on heavens deaf ears as death enters my open womb that I  hide my pain into!

penetration of your love sickens me, it allows your cold shaft to enter my young youth, without my permission.

I travel with this dirty secret underneath my sexual disconnection.

as my flesh begins to rotten underneath the flies that have gathered in my throat/feasting on my crying spirit.

I carry this dirty little secret in between my toes pretending I carry it when it carries me.

penetration of your love sickens me, it allows your cold shaft to enter my young youth, without my permission.

penetration of your love sickens me.

I hear the whispers of birds hum / the doves lay quietly /waiting for the sun to shine.

cats purring at movement of sounds

colors lighting up the skies as the rain falls like drops of sweet candy yams

butterflies dancing with grasshoppers as the search for a place to lay their eggs

I’m just being

night falls as the sunshine says goodnight/ the moon introduces herself as the day closes his eyes

Mother’s eyes are watching

I’m just being/

the waves rush against my thoughts/as I run for the peacefulness that clouds my sight

your kisses warms me/ as I lay my head /on your right breast

chasing holiday dreams

I’m just being

Laughter feels the touch of love

war survives the strength of weakness

created in the likeness of GOD

the holiness of his touch

nigger carries no weight

fear as been beat back

the law protects those who can’t hide behind the word nigger

nigger has no weight in the holy land of milk and honey

power, strength survives when the willow trees have weaken

nigger has no weight in the holy land

of milk and honey

nigger

Jump/Joy embrace the likeness of God where all creation was started in the MOTHERLAND of blackness

nigger has no weight in the land of milk and honey

Scream / COME TOGETHER/ fight the inward self hatred that consumes one groins/ that causes one to spread infect-us  sexual transmission traveling disease

nigger

nigger has the weight in the land of milk and honey.

lead me to the fountain where I can place my hands on the pipes where I’ll journey from underneath my un/ kind thoughts of comforting words.

Smell the roses/ taste the sweetness of his berries and enjoy the comfort of her womb.

place my heart in the middle

of the sexes and join me in their celebration of moving sexual freedom from the mask.

Mask me in her smell as I dance on the small part of his back.

I ooze with the whiteness of sticky juice running down my thigh

kisses of great love that has no mask to hide behind

confuse my love with the dirty darkness of miss guided religion belief

And join me in the sexual freedom from behind the mask…

Embrace all the juices of God’s great lovers let the movement of sexual love travel through your fingers and join me in the search for the truest love.